“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” – Colossians 4:6

Ken Sande, in The Peacemaker, offers this wisdom:
“People tend to think they have spoken the truth simply because their words are accurate. But if our words are not delivered in love, they will not reflect the One who is the way, the truth, and the life.”

More often than not, it’s not just what we say that matters, but how we say it. Nonverbal communication—our tone, facial expressions, and body language—can carry more weight than the words themselves.

One of the most insightful courses I took in college was a public communication class. As part of an exercise, we were recorded sitting in a circle discussing a group project. Later, the professor played back the video—but with the sound turned off.

We were then asked to interpret what was being communicated solely through nonverbal cues: posture, hand gestures, and facial expressions. It was a powerful realization—people communicate just as much (if not more) through their presence and tone as they do through their words. How we say something is just as important as what we say.

We often excuse harsh words by saying, “I was just speaking the truth.” But truth, when spoken without love, can feel like criticism or an attack.

Classic Couple Fight Example:

Husband: “Why didn’t you tell me we had plans tonight?”
Wife (defensive tone): “I did tell you! You just never listen!”
Husband (frustrated): “Oh, so now it’s my fault?”

At this point, the argument is no longer about the plans—it shifts to how they argue.

The words themselves aren’t necessarily wrong, but the delivery makes all the difference. Even truthful statements can be damaging when spoken with sarcasm, impatience, or frustration.

A phrase my wife often asks her clients is: “Do you want to be right, or do you want to maintain the relationship?”

In most conversations, the goal isn’t to win—it’s to connect. Proving yourself right at the expense of another person damages the very relationship you’re trying to build.

Scripture tells us that our words should be seasoned with salt. Salt has two primary functions:

1. Preservation – It prevents decay. Our words should preserve and strengthen relationships rather than tear them down.
2. Enhancement – The right amount of salt brings out the natural flavors in food. Likewise, our words should enhance relationships, not overpower or diminish the other person.

Gary Chapman captures this well:
“Words are important, but the way we say them often matters even more. Love thrives in an environment where words are seasoned with grace.”

Let’s be people whose words preserve, enhance, and build up—always seasoned with grace.