Drawn from my doctoral studies on Erik Erikson and Daniel Levinson’s theory of adult development (The Seasons of a Man’s Life), as well as years in men’s ministry and personal experience, these are some questions I have generated over the years for individual reflection or group discussion.

Levinson observed that men* often live in rhythms: 5–7 years of building, followed by 3–5 years of transition. Across these cycles, we move through predictable stages: from the Novice years, to Becoming One’s Own Man, to The Third 500, From Achievement to Significance, Leaving Your Mark, and Tying Up Loose Ends. Each stage is marked by questions—sometimes asked directly, sometimes wrestled with quietly.

20s – Foundations & Identity Formation

• What values from your family do you want to carry forward? What patterns must you leave behind?
• What relationships, hobbies, or jobs are shaping your vision for marriage, career, and core values?

30s – Refinement & Direction

• If money and other’s expectations weren’t factors, what would your life look like?
• What risks are worth taking now that you might regret not taking later?
• How do your daily behaviors align—or clash—with the life you want to build?

40s – Reassessment & Renewal

• Where in your life do you feel stagnant and stale? When do you feel most alive?
• Which commitments are driven by obligation versus passion?
• Are your key relationships—personal and professional—helping or hindering your growth?

50s – Leverage & Significance

• With your time and energy, what matters most now?
• What unique impact can you make at this stage that wasn’t possible before?
• What have you mastered that you can now pass on?

60s – Legacy & Succession

• Who can build on what you’ve created, and how can you equip them?
• How do you shift from doer to mentor?
• Where can you maximize wisdom and influence while minimizing stress?
• How can you pursue joy in this season rather than fearing irrelevance?

70s+ – Integration & Peace

• How can you embrace your whole story—successes, failures, and in-betweens?
• What unfinished conversations, relationships, or regrets need resolution?
• How will your legacy reflect your deepest values?

---

*My one caveat: my research focused solely on men, I have never claimed to understand women. But I do trust women are wise enough to translate these insights into their own experience.