monastic reflections: Acts 4:13

Uneducated and ordinary men” have changed the whole world. The Sanhedrin though by killing Jesus Christ order would be returned, but they did not realize the power Jesus’ ministry would have to transform uneducated and ordinary people.
“We cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” These ordinary men are not doing the extraordinary, they are simply telling what they have seen and heard, and they are challenging others to “judge for themselves if it is right” to obey the proclamations.
Self-awareness is essential because it is says I am an ordinary person, who can do no good, therefore all extraordinary, profound, creative, beautiful things must not come from me. If it makes logical, rational sense then it is not God, for god is unexplainable, God is beyond knowing, God is not controllable, God is not manipulative or malleable by human endeavors.
Therefore when speaking about what I have seen and heard I must admit it’s inexplicable nature otherwise I deceive myself and others. So what shall do?
speak about what I have seen and heard.
What have I seen and heard?

My sinfulness, or estrangement from God, or inability to keep from doing the things that I wish not to do.
I can do nothing edifying
My attempts at living a meaningful life are self-medication from my sin
I hurt other people intentionally and more often unintentionally
I clng to people, need community, desire Love
Love cannot be contained or controlled
Love unites broken and self-mutilating people
Love must be shared
Love is received before it can be given
Love unites/binds so it cannot be human (since I “hurt” community)
Love is community/relationship
Love is God; God is Love

I have seen Love and therefore I have seen God.

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