Last week, Lindsay, Ellie and I were at our friend Laura’s wedding in Chicago. Lindsay was the matron-of-honor, so I was on fulltime “dad” duty the day of the wedding. As folks were flitting around and getting ready for the service, Ellie and I were happily playing in the nursery.
Then I made a new dad mistake.
I knew something did not smell right, but decide to pick Ellie up and set her on my lap in order to the check the diaper. Lo’ and behold, my nose was accurate, but my eyes had failed to see the extent of the damage done, thus rendering Ellie’s dress, my suit pants and my shirt stained.
This was at 1:00pm, the wedding started at 2:30.
So trying not to disturb the women, I quickly ran Ellie, who at this point was screaming, into the men’s room to change her. I tried to salvage her dress by hanging her upside down and yanking the dress off. This only increased her screams, my sweat and my nerves.
Finally, we were all clean, but I was left in an undershirt, and Ellie in a sweater and diaper.
So we hit the streets of Lincoln Park, Chicago in search of new outfits (1:30pm). About five blocks up, we came across a child store called LMNOP. In a hurry, I purchased the first dress that looked cute enough for a wedding. Not only was it meant for a 12 month-old when she is only 6 months old, but also this is the most expensive outfit Ellie has owned to date. We left with a dent in my wallet, but a child ready for a wedding.
At least one of us was freshly clothed. I had resolved that I was going to be wearing my undershirt and suit jacket. That would look trendy for a Chicago wedding?
But, as we got one block from the church, I noticed a consignment store. With less time, and less cash then I started the day with, I bolted into the store.
Inside, I found the only 16-34 shirt they had in stock…pink but the price was right: $5.
So to Lindsay’s surprise, Ellie and I returned to the wedding just a few minutes before they processed, decked out in our matching pink outfits.