“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in.”Revelation 3:20

Have you ever noticed that the people who are best at helping others are often the worst at asking for help themselves?

We like being needed. We hate being needy.

There is something vulnerable about admitting, “I can’t do this on my own.” So instead, we figure it out. We push through. We carry the weight. Eventually, self-sufficiency can become so normal that we stop recognizing it as a problem.

The ancient city of Laodicea knew something about self-sufficiency.

In 60AD, a massive earthquake devastated the city. Rome regularly provided financial assistance to cities recovering from disasters, but Laodicea was wealthy enough that it refused the help. The historian Tacitus records that the city rebuilt itself “without any relief from us.”

That was something to be proud of: We don’t need anyone. We can take care of ourselves.

Years later, Jesus speaks to the church in Laodicea using language that would have sounded painfully familiar:

“You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” – Revelation 3:17

The problem wasn’t that they were capable. The problem was that their capability had convinced them they didn’t need anyone, including God.

Then comes one of the most famous images in Revelation: Jesus standing at the door and knocking.

We often use this verse to describe someone inviting Jesus into their life for the first time. But Jesus is speaking to a church.

They had become so good at doing life on their own that they had failed to notice that Jesus was standing outside. That is the danger of self-sufficiency. You can become so capable at carrying the weight that you stop asking whether you were ever supposed to carry it alone.

From the beginning of Scripture, God tells us otherwise. In Genesis 2:18, before sin enters the world, God looks at Adam and says, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Notice when God says that: before the fall. Before sin. Before anything is broken. Our need for one another is not a consequence of something going wrong. It is part of God’s original design. We were created for dependence: dependence upon God and dependence upon one another.

So why are helpers so bad at asking for help?

Maybe asking feels weak, embarrassing, or burdensome. Maybe you gladly show up for others, but somewhere underneath, you wonder whether anyone would show up for you. So you keep being the helper.

But when you never allow others to help you, you deny them the same gift you have received from helping others.

So Step 7 asks you to open the door and ask for help.

Ask God for help. Then do something even more vulnerable: ask another person.

What are you carrying right now that you have been trying to handle alone? Who is one person you trust enough to ask for help?