Proverbs 17:17 says: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Before I had triplet sons, I read that second half differently. I read it to suggest that brothers—both biological and spiritual—will remain through difficult times. Raising triplet sons, I now wonder if brothers may also be the cause of challenges in our lives, as this Ring video from our driveway would suggest.

However, when you sit with the original language of this passage, a much richer understanding of these relationships emerges.

The Hebrew order comes out literally as “a brother for adversity is born.” A brother is born to help in times of distress—when life closes in.

Through challenges and struggles, we come to understand what brotherhood is for.

That is one of the things I wonder for my boys. Life has not yet hit them on the nose in such a way that would require them to depend upon each other.

In Scripture, two brothers we meet are the Sons of Thunder: James and John. Initially, they are working in their father’s fishing business before they decide to leave that career trajectory to follow an itinerant minister with Messianic claims. Following Jesus, they face challenges, rejection, humiliation, and ultimately suffering.

James becomes the first of the Twelve killed for his allegiance to the Lord. John, traditionally understood to have written the Gospel account of Jesus, continues his witness long into old age.

Their allegiance to the Lord carries them into and through adversity. The very circumstances for which Proverbs says a brother is born.

In The Silence of Adam, Larry Crabb describes our need for a father who walks ahead of us and a brother who walks beside us. A brother struggles alongside us, offering accountability and encouraging growth. Like iron sharpening iron, there may be sparks, but both men become stronger. They become brothers who learn to depend upon each other through challenges and struggles.

When life closes in, a brother’s purpose comes into focus: he is there to stand beside you.

Who and to whom are you being that kind of brother?