A struggle i have had recently was to tell some churches that I did not feel called to them these past two weeks. Not only was it difficult because I have been turning places down before I have even found a “sure thing,” but also because I hate to disappoint people.
Now I realized why as a teenager I could never break-up with girls; I think technically I am still dating a girl from 9th grade. Then there was the girl who wrote a break-up poem for me…the sad thing is I read the poem, looked at her and said, “huh? what does this mean, are we not going to Outback tonight?” Thankfully, as Lindsay will tell it, she could just never get around to saying “no” to me as well.
Anyway, enough of the painful flashbacks…
What I am discovering in the midst of this experience is how to trust in God’s faithfulness. I know that God is calling me somewhere into ministry, and I knew that those places were not the right fit. Therefore, rather than stringing others along, and trying to control the situation myself, I figured I should step out in faith.
In this experience I understand what Barth (and the Bible) means by being free in Christ. When I stopped trying to control what jobs I could have, I have found a strange peace that something will work out. In the most “scary” of times–unemployed, new father, and dealing with medical issues–I am finding assurance that God is at work in all of this.
Though the PC(USA) dating pool is a little thin for my interests, I have found the comfort and confidence that God will provide for myself, Lindsay and Ellie an amazing opportunity to serve Him and His church.
We just pray that it will come soon….really soon.